How a McCain Candidacy Terrifies the Right, Thereby Appeasing the Left

Did I call it or did I call? Remember yesterday? My Prediction: WHO FRIGGIN' KNOWS? Results: WHO FRIGGIN' KNOWS? Yep, Super Tuesday has come and gone and the Dems are still without a front runner.

I also called it, sort of, for McCain, but not before spending at least two thankless and tiring hours reading and analyzing all 8,374 articles about McCain on CNN.com before coming to the profound, albeit grossly obvious conclusion that McCain is more likeable than Romney and Huckabee put together.

So where is all of the news in this? Simple. This isn’t news. Hillary and Barack will continue battling it out for a few more weeks while McCain spends that time pondering whether he wants Guiliani or Crist as a vice president.

I think the real news about McCain’s commanding lead is how fractured the conservatives are over his candidacy. Most Dems I know worry about McCain. Romney or Huckabee can be beat in November for the bargain price of less than $500 million. But if it’s McCain, then oh crap.

That’s where the neo-totalitarian rightwing demagogues (to borrow from an earlier post) come in handy. Quite simply, if McCain gets the official nod, then the ubercrazys of the right have assured us they will either stay away from the polls in the entirety or vote for the democratic candidate. Of course, no one really believes that Rush or Coulter are going to do the latter, but with their popularity waning, they’ve got to come up with some shtick to get attention.

Now don’t take my word for it. Let’s hear from, oh, I don’t know, maybe Mr. James Dobson, leader and head mouth frother of the incredibly discredited Focus on the Family:

“But what a sad and melancholy decision this is for me and many other conservatives. Should Sen. McCain capture the nomination as many assume, I believe this general election will offer the worst choices for president in my lifetime. I certainly can't vote for Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama based on their virulently anti-family policy positions. If these are the nominees in November, I simply will not cast a ballot for president for the first time in my life. "

And then there’s Rush, Coulter, Sean Hannity, Laura “There is no way in hell I could pull the lever for John McCain” Ingraham and Glenn Beck. All have railed against McCain, convinced in their own ego induced paranoia that McCain is a Republican traitor, a liberal mole, Al Gore in disguise (I wish!).

Of course, we know these folks have absolutely no creditability with us sensible folks on the left. But what is potentially assuring is that the herd mentality of the right will abide by the words of Herr Dobson and actually stay at home this November. However, what will most likely happen is, come sometime in June or July, these sorry folks will deny ever having said a bad word about McCain, will embrace him on their respective programs, and flower him with juicy love and god-like praise, knowing that most Americans suffer from short term memory and won’t remember the venom these folks spewed on McCain oh so few months previously.

For now it’s fun to watch. Let the Right beat each other up for a while. I take pleasure in knowing that most Democrats fully support either an Obama or Clinton ticket and aren't hitting the airwaves vowing to flee the party if one or the other gets the nod. This strength and unity has to be causing some blood vessels to burst over at Faux News.