This Woman Needs Your Help -- Suggestions Welcome

According to an article in this morning's Times-Union, "Mindy Belot hasn't figured out how to deal with the problem of skyrocketing gas prices."

Conversely, RADO's Jennifer McCharen (also of Bike Jax featured commuter and occassional local blog opiner fame), understands that alternative methods of commuting are better for the environment and save money.

But back to Ms. Belot. As a public service, I thought it would be best to offer up a few suggestions to assist her through this gas price crisis and to solve her "Oh, dear, what do I do?" problem.

First: Lose the kid. Give her to the grandfolks. Not only does she add weight to the car, thus causing additional drag which eats up the gas, but she probably goes through an expensive box of Cap't Crunch every morning for breakfast. Meaning, like every other kid in the country, she's probably on the fast track to morbid obesity, which of course will add even more weight to your car, thus diminishing your gas mileage that much more. It's a vicious cycle. If you can keep her out of the car, and the house, you'll save a fortune. If she has a brother or sister, or both, get rid of them too.

Second: Paint your car white. Red absorbs the hot sun and heats the car's surface and interior which in turn will require you to blow the AC on constant high as you sit in bumper to bumber traffic on I-10 during your daily commute from Lake Butler to Jacksonville. White, on the other hand, deflects the sun's rays and will keep the interior of your car at a brisk 70 degrees. Seriously, every scientific study has proven this. If possible, and even better, cover your car with mirrors.

Third: Vote for a president who is not in bed with the entire petroleum industry. Check out the candidates. Look at their resumes and bona fides. If any where you see something like "Once owned oil company," then vote for someone else. In fact, in the abundance of caution, avoid voting for any candidate who shares any party or idealogical affiliation with someone who "once owned an oil company." This fall will be the perfect time to test this money saving strategy. If you (and the country) vote correctly, you may just see gas prices start to decrease come spring.

Fourth: GET RID OF THE FRIGGIN' SUV. Seriously. This woman is sitting at the gas pump, loading up a 20 gallon gas tank in her 12 MPH SUV, and she "hasn't figured out" how to lower her expense. She lives in Lake Butler and commutes to Jacksonville every morning, probably on one of the most congested stretches of roadway in the city in an SUV. Get a Honda for Christ's sake.

Those are my tips. I hope they helped.

Ms. Belot will never beat the gas pump woes under her current circumstances if she is going to ignore the most obvious culprit (owning an SUV, not voting GOP). At what point are we supposed to start feeling bad for people who are hit hardest by this fuel increase when they continuously insist on promoting the very industry and lifestyle that is draining their bank account?

Happy Earth Day.